When I was young, I struggled to name who are my best friends. I used to cry alone at nights for the fact that I am always on everyone’s list and never as the very first few names.
It seems like I was always a good friend but not the best of friends.
When I was older, I always felt that I am unable to focus on just one thing and I blame it on my ability to do whatever I want even all at the same time. I felt abnormal for not able to be happy by just doing one single thing and doing it really well. I guess I am a sucker of variety.
Looking back at the ever changing environment that I have had: from Butterworth to KL, living in factory to shot lot, to houses of different sizes and to apartment, 2 primary schools, 4 secondary schools and even 2 universities; I learned how to be extremely adaptive to new environment but never too committed in any event. In fact, it has become the internal clock in me that has an alarm to remind me to change after a few years of the same thing.
This is just my Scorpio attributes, extremely adaptive and loyal but can never accept betrayals (thus not ready to commit). This also made me a good creator and a bad keeper at the same time.
Luckily, I am also a real doer that I made things happened even though I have never seen it or seen it done before. That made me a good explorer! Judging by that, I should be a good keeper if only I embrace the changes in the status quo. In that sense, I am a good keeper of the objective instead a stubborn enforcer of the status quo – it is an evolving concept with load of assumptions after all, just like everything else that man created, when you are questioning the assumptions and take actions, you are in fact extremely focus on your objectives!
Focus on the objective but not loyal with the approach.
When you are not focus on the obvious, it doesn’t mean you are not focus at all.
So, I am a Goalkeeper after all, but of a different genre… I am that goal scoring one as well… I am one of those Crazy Latin Americans with names like Chilavert, Higuita or Campos ringing harmony in my head…
Perhaps when you ever feel that you have done not enough, most of the time you have perhaps done too much! And you can always rewrite the list…